STS Blog

Balancing Extracurricular Activities and Schoolwork in Middle School: Tips for Parents
Karen Mathewson, Director of the Middle School

Balancing Extracurricular Activities and Schoolwork in Middle School: Tips for Parents

As your child transitions into the tween and middle school years, life becomes more complex—not just for them, but for you as well. Balancing schoolwork with extracurricular activities can feel like a juggling act. At this stage, your child is likely exploring new interests, testing their boundaries, and facing increased academic demands. As a parent, you want to support their passions while ensuring they stay on top of their schoolwork.

Finding that balance is essential for their development and well-being. Here are some practical tips specifically designed to help parents of tweens and middle schoolers manage life in and out of school effectively.

1. Help Them Prioritize and Set Goals

Tweens and middle schoolers are at an age where they’re beginning to discover who they are and what they’re passionate about. It’s important to help them identify their priorities and set clear goals for both academics and extracurricular activities.

Encourage your child to think about what they enjoy most and where they want to focus their energy. Guide them in ranking their activities by importance and have a conversation about what commitments are realistic alongside their increasing school responsibilities. This approach teaches them to make thoughtful decisions about how they spend their time.

2. Develop a Structured but Flexible Schedule

At this age, your child is ready to take on more responsibility for managing their time. Work together to create a structured weekly schedule that balances schoolwork, extracurricular activities, and downtime. Include dedicated time for homework, study sessions, and projects, as well as for the activities they’re passionate about.

A visual schedule can be a great tool for helping your tween or middle schooler stay organized. However, it’s also important to build in flexibility to accommodate unexpected changes, like additional assignments or rescheduled practices. This teaches them how to adapt to life’s unpredictability while maintaining a routine.

3. Teach Advanced Time Management Skills

As your child’s responsibilities grow, so does the need for strong time management skills. Teach them to estimate how long tasks will take and develop strategies for staying on top of their workload. Techniques such as breaking down large projects into smaller tasks or using a planner to track assignments and deadlines can be especially helpful.

Encourage your middle schooler to take ownership of their schedule. This not only fosters independence but also prepares them for the increased demands they’ll face in high school and beyond. Establish ways to reflect on how it’s going and where schedules may need to be adjusted.

4. Keep an Eye on Stress Levels

The transition from elementary to middle school often comes with heightened pressure, both academically and socially. It’s crucial to monitor your child’s stress levels and ensure they’re not becoming overwhelmed by their commitments.

Watch for signs of stress, such as changes in sleep patterns, mood swings, or a lack of enthusiasm for activities they once enjoyed. Regular check-ins can help you gauge how they’re coping and whether adjustments to their schedule are needed. Finding the right time to connect with your middle schooler is key – some kids open up best during a drive in the car or a walk, while others may find it easiest to open up at bedtime.  Remember, your child’s mental and emotional health should always come first.

5. Promote a Healthy Lifestyle

Balancing schoolwork and extracurricular activities isn’t just about time management—it’s also about maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Encourage your child to get enough sleep, eat a balanced diet, and stay physically active. These habits are essential for keeping energy levels up and maintaining focus both in school and during extracurricular activities.

Teaching your tween or middle schooler the importance of taking breaks and unplugging from their responsibilities (and from their digital devices) will help them recharge and prevent burnout. Whether it’s through family time, relaxation, or physical activity, downtime is a crucial part of maintaining balance.

6. Foster Open Communication with Teachers and Coaches

Your child’s middle school years are a time of rapid growth and change, and it’s important to foster open communication with their teachers and coaches. Keep them informed about your child’s commitments and any potential conflicts. Most educators and coaches understand the challenges that come with balancing schoolwork and extracurriculars and are often willing to accommodate when they’re kept in the loop. Consider asking on occasion, “My child seems to be doing well (or not) with balancing schoolwork and outside interests. What is your perspective?”

By partnering with those involved in your child’s education and activities, you can help ensure they succeed academically while also excelling in their chosen extracurriculars.

7. Encourage Depth Over Breadth in Activities

During the tween and middle school years, it can be tempting to encourage your child to try everything. However, it’s important to emphasize the value of depth over breadth in their activities. Encourage them to focus on a few passions where they can truly excel and develop their skills, rather than spreading themselves too thin.

This approach not only allows your child to gain more from their activities but also helps them develop a sense of commitment and perseverance. Quality of engagement often leads to more meaningful experiences and growth than simply doing more.

8. Model Balanced Behavior

Children, especially at this age, are keen observers of their parents' behavior. By demonstrating balance in your own life—whether it’s managing work and family, pursuing hobbies, or practicing self-care—you set a powerful example for your child.

Discuss how you manage your commitments and make time for the things you love. Sharing your experiences can provide valuable lessons for your tween or middle schooler as they learn to balance their own responsibilities. Sometimes, rather than a more formal sit-down conversation, simply “talk out loud” as you manage your tasks or feel stressed and make adjustments.

9. Celebrate Their Progress and Achievements

Middle school is a time of significant growth, and it’s important to celebrate your child’s progress and achievements along the way. Whether it’s an improved grade, a personal best in sports, or mastering a new skill, recognizing their hard work reinforces the value of balance and perseverance.

Celebrating both big and small successes helps build your child’s confidence and encourages them to continue striving for excellence. It also supports the development of a growth mindset, which is crucial for overcoming challenges and setbacks. And remember, what we see as setbacks are often signals and predictors of coming growth.

10. Emphasize Mattering

It’s crucial to help your child understand that their worth is not tied to their achievements.  In the midst of juggling schoolwork, extracurricular activities, and social pressures, tweens and teens need reassurance that their inherent value is never in question.  Focus on creating an environment where they feel loved and accepted for who they are, not just for what they accomplish. 

Encourage your child to pursue their passions and work hard, but also to recognize that their self-worth goes far beyond grades, scores, or awards.  This distinction helps tweens and teens untangle their sense of self from the pressure to constantly perform, fostering a healthy balance and reducing stress.  Let them know that who they are as individuals – kind, creative, resilient – matters most. 

Conclusion

Balancing schoolwork and extracurricular activities during the tween and middle school years requires thoughtful planning and communication. By helping your child prioritize, schedule, manage their time, and maintain a healthy lifestyle, you can support them in navigating their commitments successfully. Your guidance is essential in helping your child develop into a well-rounded individual, ready to face the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.